


4) Ravenclaws are Least Likely to Insult You

by QueenKatelynTheAristocrat



Series: How To Avoid Bullies: A Series [5]
Category: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Adorable, Best Friends, Bullying, Defensive!Scorpius, Fluff, Friendship, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Pre-Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Pre-Slash, Prejudice, Revenge, bed sharing, pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 00:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20023543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenKatelynTheAristocrat/pseuds/QueenKatelynTheAristocrat
Summary: "What happened to Nerds Protect Nerds?""You can say that all you want, but this nerd protects Albus Potter, so you’re just going to have to deal with it.”Otherwise known as: Scorpius has a theory that Ravenclaws are least likely to be bullies, but when one makes a rude comment about Albus, he changes his mind rather quickly.





	4) Ravenclaws are Least Likely to Insult You

One thing Scorpius Malfoy knew better than most was that all things come to an end, good or bad, and that included his first year at Hogwarts. As Spring brushed ever closer to early Summer, Scorpius had a lot of things on his mind, namely exams. 

He and Albus spent an even greater than usual amount of time in the library, and although Albus didn’t much care for Scorpius’s excessive studying -- that much was obvious -- he never once complained, instead, once he’d finished the bare minimum of his homework, he would simply keep Scorpius company, sometimes distracting him with chatter, sometimes slumping down in his chair and closing his eyes, although Scorpius could tell he never fell asleep. He would keep his wand on the table, his right hand braced next to it, as if even in Madame Pince’s nearly silent library he feared attack. 

Scorpius never told him, but he didn’t think Albus’s concern was necessary. People in the library were much less hostile than anywhere else, except for the rare occasions when a group of rowdy Gryffindors would drop in, take the center table, and inevitably make enough noise that Pince would toss them out on their arses, that is. 

That was a scene Scorpius very much enjoyed watching. He was pretty sure that he, Scorpius, was the only one the old librarian would ever smile at. He had to admit it made sense, though: the woman had been a Slytherin herself when she attended Hogwarts. 

So yes, the library was somewhat of a safe zone to Scorpius, and that had as much influence -- if not more -- as any other factor in his decision to spend most of his time there. 

Even Rose, who often found herself in the library -- unsurprising given her mother -- would eschew insulting Scorpius in favor of ignoring him when she wasn’t surrounded by her thickheaded friends. 

It wasn’t until a week or so before exams began that Scorpius made a connection: when one scanned the library’s many tables, one could see a rather unusual abundance of blue ties and scarves. And Ravenclaws were even more common when one factored in the difference between those who frequented the library and those who only visited occasionally. 

Upon consideration, Scorpius supposed this made sense. Ravenclaws were supposed to be the smart ones, after all. But it wasn’t until that particular day that he put all the pieces together. 

The First Years had their Transfigurations exam first, and of course their professor had assigned an essay as a review. Scorpius was somewhere deep in the library’s shelves searching for a particular book that he remembered seeing a few days ago that he had a feeling would be perfect for his essay topic -- he’d left Albus at their table, actually focused on his work for once -- when Scorpius remembered it had actually been shelved closer to the  _ Charms  _ section -- which made no sense whatsoever to Scorpius, but then again, when did Pince’s system ever make sense -- so he spun around to rush back the other direction, and slammed right into a Second Year Ravenclaw carrying a pile of books so large she couldn’t see over top of it, which promptly crashed to the floor. 

Scorpius immediately rushed to restack them, apologizing profusely and expecting to be cussed out at any moment, when to his surprise, the girl just gave him a small smile and said, “That’s alright, I should’ve been looking where I was going.” 

Scorpius, having not expected that response in the least, immediately said, “Oh no, this was entirely my fault, and like I said, I’m so very sorry. I’ll stay out of your way from now on, I promise.” 

Having finished stacking the books, Scorpius gave the now confused young Ravenclaw one last nervous glance and turned to rush away before she changed her mind, or worse, realized who he was. 

But as he turned away, the girl went from confused to flustered and said, “Now wait just one minute.”

Scorpius sighed with dread and turned around, already preparing to defend himself further, but all the girl said was, “You didn’t even let me thank you for picking up my books.” 

Scorpius was more confused than ever, but his mother’s teachings on manners ordered him to say, “Well in that case, you’re very welcome.” before his brain even caught up. 

The girl smiled at him and bent down to pick up her stack of books from the ground, and Scorpius turned away again, but once his brain finally caught up, he turned back to her and said, “Um, very sorry,” she looked back up at him expectantly, “But you’re… not upset?” 

She scrunched her eyebrows together, and Scorpius could’ve kicked himself. Albus was always telling him not to question when people were nice, but he just couldn’t help himself. 

“Um… no? It was an accident.” the girl said, lifting her stack back into the air, and as Scorpius watched, it almost tipped over again, and the girl swore in her soft voice. 

At that, Scorpius’s manners kicked in again, and he found himself saying, “Would you like some help with that?” 

Scorpius couldn’t see her expression passed the books, but her voice sounded very relieved as she said, “Oh, would you? That would be lovely.” before promptly dumping the entire stack into Scorpius’s shocked arms and taking the top half back for herself to carry. 

As Scorpius followed the girl back to her table, he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “You do know who I am, right?” 

The Ravenclaw laughed and said, “Of course I do. Scorpius Malfoy, alleged ‘Son of Voldemort’ and Gryffindor punching bag?” 

Scorpius was bemused by how similar her sarcastic exaggeration of Scorpius’s title was to Albus’s: when she said it, it sounded even more ridiculous than usual. “That’s me.” Scorpius said, self-deprecatingly. “And you’re not afraid to be seen with me?” 

The girl just rolled her eyes, “As if I care what Gryffindors think of me. Nerds have to look out for each other.” 

And by then they’d reached her table, and she’d put her own stack down. Scorpius placed his beside it. 

After an awkward moment, Scorpius said, “Well, I should get back to my best friend.” 

The girl sounded frustrated this time as she said, “Wait!” Scorpius turned back to her expectantly. “You don’t even know my name.” 

Scorpius realized quite abruptly that he didn’t. “Oh. How rude of me. What is your name?” 

She smiled again and said, “Tulip Carleson.” 

Scorpius nodded and said, “Lovely to meet you Tulip, but I really must be going.” 

“Oh, alright.” Tulip said, as if that wasn’t the reaction she’d expected at all, and Scorpius wasn’t sure what else he was supposed to say, so he just smiled and walked away. 

Halfway back to Albus, he remembered the book he was looking for, and went back to retrieve it. By the time he actually got back, Albus looked worried. 

“Where have you been?” Albus asked, his green eyes burning with relief. He searched Scorpius’s being with his customary scan, and seemingly picked up on how confused he was, because he said, “And why do you look like you’ve been obliviated and then hit by a bus?” 

Scorpius glanced around and sat down before saying, “Albus.” 

Albus raised his eyebrows as if to ask, “Yes?” 

“Someone was just nice to me. I even ran right into her and made her drop her books, and she wasn’t mad at all. It was so strange.” Scorpius explained. 

Albus just stared at him for a long moment, then a grin started to form slowly on his face, which ended with him laughing gently and saying, “Well at least some people in this school are bloody decent human beings.” 

After a second, Scorpius smiled back at him. It was pretty ridiculous that they’d gotten to this point.

“Honestly, I was expecting you to say that Creevey and his idiots had managed to stay in the library for longer than a few minutes before managing to get kicked out or something.” Albus said, still smiling. 

“That seems more likely doesn’t it?.” Scorpius replied. 

“And did you get the name of this decent human being?” Albus asked. 

Scorpius thought for a moment, trying to remember her surname correctly and said, “She said it was Tulip. Tulip…. Carelson? Or something?” 

Albus raised his eyebrows. “Tulip Carleson? She’s top of her class.” 

“Oh! That’s probably why she expected me to recognize her name.” Scorpius realized. 

Albus gave a small laugh and said, “Yeah, probably, Scorp.” 

“What, it’s not like I make a habit of memorizing the names of all the Second Year Ravenclaws, or something.” Scorpius defended, and Albus just shook his head at him with affection. 

“So, did you get the book?” Albus asked. 

“Oh, yes.” Scorpius said, retrieving it from his bag and placing it on the table. 

They studied in silence for nearly an hour, but once they had finished their essays and were heading back to the Common Room to kill some time before Dinner, Scorpius finally made the connection. “Albus, I have a theory.” 

Albus turned to him with open curiosity and said, “And that is?” He was used to Scorpius and his ideas. 

“I think that Ravenclaws are nicer to social outcasts for a reason: they’re more likely to be social outcasts themselves.” Scorpius explained, then looked to Albus for judgement. 

Albus looked interested, but unconvinced. 

“Think about it. Ravenclaw is supposedly the ‘Smart House’ and intelligent people are less likely to fit in with the majority. And so they’re used to being treated badly by the masses, and so they’re more likely to be nice to others who don’t fit the mould.” 

Albus considered for a moment. “I don’t know, Scorp. Some of them can be pretty rude sometimes.” 

“I mean, obviously not everyone’s going to fit the stereotype. I just mean generally.” Scorpius offered, thinking about the way Tulip had stated that “Nerds had to look after nerds.” 

Albus thought again. “I suppose I can’t prove you wrong.” he shrugged. “I just don’t know if House Stereotypes can be taken so seriously, you know? I mean look at us. The least evil Slytherins you’ll ever meet.” 

“I suppose.” Scorpius said, considering. 

Abruptly, Albus stopped moving, turned toward him, and grinned green fire. “But hey, any theory from the mind of the Great Genius Scorpius Malfoy is true until proven false, right?” 

Scorpius was stunned for a moment by the look in Albus’s eyes, but then he shook himself out of it and said, “Right. In fact… let’s go see if that duplicating spell really worked.” 

Albus shrugged amicably and said, “Alright.” and with that they practically ran to their dorm. 

About a month before, Scorpius had realized that they would be going home for the Summer Holiday soon, and as it stood, only one of them could bring the list home with them, and they never knew when an addition would need to be made. And since they doubted their parents would let them visit each other over the Summer, this presented a problem. 

And so Scorpius had researched. After a few hours of dedicated study, he’d found a spell meant to duplicate documents so that anything written on either copy would appear on the other as well. It had seemed perfect, but they hadn’t had a chance to test it yet since there’d been nothing to add to the list. 

But now, as they retrieved both copies and closed the curtains around Albus’s bed, they finally had an opportunity to see if it had worked properly. 

They shared a moment of heavy gravity, then Scorpius ceremoniously wrote on the second copy of the list, the following statement: 

**3) Ravenclaws are the Least Likely to Insult You.**

And both boys watched in amazement as the same statement appeared on the first. Upon seeing first hand the results of his hard work, Scorpius looked up at Albus grinning, and saw on his face something that made him catch his breath. 

“What?” Scorpius asked, somewhat apprehensive. 

“Scorpius Malfoy, you are bloody  _ brilliant.”  _ Albus said with enough intensity that Scorpius blushed and looked away. 

“Thanks, I guess.” he answered, hesitantly. 

“No, really.” Albus insisted, “I should tell you more often.” 

Scorpius looked back into his best friend’s eyes. He’d never imagined in his wildest dreams that Harry Potter’s son would ever look at him like he, Scorpius, could save the world. 

“You’re pretty amazing, too, you know.” Scorpius said. 

“Thanks, I guess.” Albus answered, with a playful smirk. 

Scorpius made a show of rolling his eyes. “Well, now we can each take one home like we planned. Since we know they work.” 

Albus nodded. “I’m gonna have to hide mine from James, though.” 

Scorpius still felt guilty for the dark note in Albus’s voice when he spoke about his older brother, but he supposed it was what it was. James had chosen his side and Albus had chosen his. Potter boys were stubborn like that. 

“Regardless. If we think of something to add over the summer, we should just write it in. Owling each other beforehand would take too long.” Scorpius suggested. 

“Sounds good to me.” Albus said amicably, “Wanna play Exploding Snap?” and the matter was finished. 

The lists were returned to their hiding spots, and all seriousness was put away with them. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night was one where Scorpius found himself unable to sleep for worrying, mostly about his mother. Somewhere between one and two in the morning, Albus found himself woken from a peaceful and dreamless sleep by his best friend shoving through his curtains and laying beside him like he belonged there and knew it. 

Albus found, as he usually did, that he didn’t really mind. “Can’t sleep?” he whispered. 

“Sorry.” Scorpius said, mildly guilty. 

“Don’t be. Just close the curtains and get in here.” Albus answered, still half asleep. 

Scorpius smiled to find himself welcome, and did just that. 

Both were silent for some minutes, although neither fell asleep. Finally, Scorpius broke the silence. “I’m going to miss you this summer, Albus.” 

For a moment, Albus marvelled at the kind of pure honesty he’d only ever found in the form of Scorpius Malfoy, then he whispered, “I’m going to miss you, too, Scorp.” 

“I wish our parents would let us visit each other.” Scorpius said, ever hopeful. 

Albus shook his head, even though Scorpius likely couldn’t see it in the darkness. “They won’t.” he said, resigned. “And James will probably start blabbing about how awful you are before we even get home from the train station.” 

Albus tried to hide it, but he knew Scorpius would pick up on the anger in his voice. 

“Sorry I’m not a normal friend, Albus.” Scorpius answered, after a moment. 

It took Albus a second to understand how Scorpius could have gotten  _ there  _ from his previous statement, and once he finally did, he couldn’t help himself: he threw his arms around his best friend in a brief but strong hug. 

“If you were normal you wouldn’t be  _ you.  _ And I don’t much like normal people, from what I’ve seen of them.” Albus answered. 

Albus swore he could feel Scorpius smiling. “I’m sure my mum would like to meet you.” 

Albus could hear the worry in Scorpius’s voice, and he knew that was what had brought Scorpius there beside him in the middle of the night. “I would love to meet her too, if I could.” 

They moved closer to each other, almost unconsciously, in the all-consuming dark. They both knew that neither of their parents were likely to understand their friendship, but at least the forces of the universe had decided, along with misery and misunderstanding, to give them each other. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next few days, whenever Tulip saw Scorpius in the hallways, she would smile. Half the time, once Scorpius had registered an expression besides hostility or indifference, it would be too late to smile back, but she apparently didn’t let that discourage her. 

She didn’t approach him or show any other sign of wanting to interact beyond these brief smiles, but regardless, Scorpius was a bit confused, and more than a little wary. 

That is, she didn’t approach him until a week or so later in the library. 

Although, perhaps approach is too weak a word. Albus and Scorpius were entering the library after lunch and were in the middle of a friendly debate on whether or not pumpkin juice was, in fact, disgusting -- Albus said yes, Scorpius said no -- when Tulip yelled, “Scorpius Malfoy!” from two tables away and proceeded to block their forward progress with her person. 

“Yes, Tulip?” Scorpius asked, acknowledging both the fact that the girl before him was treating his best friend as if he wasn’t even there, and the entire library was now staring with an eyebrow raised. 

“You should sit with me today! I’m studying Charms, and I know for a fact that the First Year exam is a nightmare.” Tulip said, cheerfully, but as if she wasn’t likely to accept no for an answer. 

Scorpius was becoming increasingly frightened, but he knew one thing for a fact: “I’m very sorry, but I’m here with my best friend Albus, but you can sit with both of us if you like?” 

Upon hearing his name, Tulip finally acknowledged Albus, but Scorpius couldn’t help thinking that given the look on her face, he would’ve rather she’d continued ignoring him. “Oh no, that’s alright.” She said, in an incredibly put out tone. 

Scorpius exchanged a glance with Albus that said something like, “Alright then.” 

“Um, I guess I’ll see you later then?” Scorpius said, hoping to leave this strange conversation at that, but as he and Albus turned away he heard her mutter something like, “Yeah, when you’re not spending time with bloody Squibs.” 

Albus gave a short laugh, letting Scorpius know that he’d heard as well, and as Scorpius froze in place he felt a shot of anger so acute that it surprised him. He spun around and made to stalk back towards her, but Albus grabbed his sleeve and said, “Scorp, not worth it.” 

By now Tulip was frozen in place as well, eyes wide, clearly not expecting that reaction. Scorpius looked at her, then back at Albus and made a split second decision. He shook his head and said, “One hundred percent, completely worth it.” 

Before Albus could even react, Scorpius had stalked back over to one shell-shocked Tulip Carleson and said, “You will never talk about my best friend like that again.” 

“Excuse me?” Tulip asked, eyebrows raised. 

“You heard me. You may be smart, but Albus is worth a million of you, and if you think I’ll just stand here and let you say things like that about him, you’ve got another thing coming.” Scorpius answered, fueled by his anger and indignation. 

She laughed derisively, “Right, Scorpius. I defend you and this is how you repay me. What happened to Nerds Protect Nerds?” 

“You can say that all you want, but this nerd protects Albus Potter, so you’re just going to have to deal with it.” Scorpius answered so quickly that he impressed even himself. 

“Yeah?” Tulip asked, more offended by the second, “With what army?” 

And now she was making threats. “I may not have an army, but my father is a former Death Eater and his is Head Auror, so I think we’ve got the likes of you more than covered.” 

When her answer was nothing more impressive than standing there with her mouth open, Scorpius turned to his equally shocked best friend and said, “Albus, let’s get out of here.” 

Albus just continued to look shocked for a moment, but once he snapped out of it he looked no less amazed. “Lead the way, you brilliant warrior.” was his answer, accompanied by the widest smile Scorpius had ever seen. 

Scorpius smugly grabbed Albus’s sleeve and led the way out the door and back toward their Common Room. 

Once they were a good distance away, Albus started laughing in an unrestrained way that Scorpius rarely heard and said, “Did you see her face?” 

“Oh, trust me, I did.” Scorpius answered, just as giddy. 

“The entire  _ library  _ was staring.” Albus said. 

“Were they? I didn’t notice.” 

“How did you even come up with half of that?”

“Trust me, I have no idea.” 

“Who are you and what have you done with Scorpius Malfoy?” 

“Maybe I’m an imposter. Ask me a question only we would know the answer to.” 

Albus just laughed. “You played the fame card.” 

Scorpius scrunched his nose up in distaste. “I know. But at least I didn’t drop any names. And I had some pretty big ones to drop.” 

Albus laughed again. “She was just humiliated in front of all of her nerd underlings. I bet that’s really sinking in for her right about now.” 

Scorpius felt a pang of guilt. “I feel kind of bad about it, but then again…” 

They exchanged a glance. “It was deserved.” They said simultaneously. 

They had finally reached the entrance to Slytherin. Scorpius said the password, then announced, “Come on. We have a list to alter.” 

They made their way to their room and retrieved a copy, and before Albus could say a word, Scorpius had crossed out his most recent addition and handed the quill to him. 

Albus stared at him for a moment, then wrote: 

**Untrue. Maybe nerds won’t harm other nerds, but when you’re the Slytherin Squib, they have no problem calling you out.**

Once Scorpius had retrieved it and read what Albus had written, he looked at him with sympathy and added: 

_ Sorry, yeah, wrote this one without enough evidence.  _

Albus looked back up at him and said, “You know, you didn’t really have to cross this one out. Like you said, just because one person doesn’t fit the stereotype doesn’t make it wrong.” 

Scorpius shook his head and said, “Nope. My hypothesis has been disproven.  _ You  _ were right. House stereotypes are dragon shite.” 

Albus grinned. “Has the great Scorpius Malfoy just admitted I was right?” 

Scorpius rolled his eyes and said, “Oh shush. And besides, regardless of what low lifes like Tulip Carleson say, I think you’re very smart.” 

Albus just smiled at the ground, but Scorpius knew that his words meant a lot to Albus. He could tell. 

“Do you think the lot in the library have moved on from your scene yet?” Albus asked. 

Scorpius shuddered. “Oh no. We’re not going back until at least tomorrow.” 

“Scorpius Malfoy refusing to go to the library? Perhaps you are an imposter.” 

Scorpius just sighed. “Well, at least one good thing came out of this.” 

“And that is?” 

“We got to make sure my duplicating spell worked.” Scorpius said, and Albus just laughed again in a way that made Scorpius want to make his best friend this happy more often.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments make my day! <3


End file.
